Edge of Sanity
by Shadowdancerxo
Summary: He swore he would help his friend's no matter what it took. Even if it meant throwing himself over the edge of sanity. He would do it. Dark, a little gory on the details. Some Kogan, Kames, Cargan, Jarlos, and Kenlos if you squint. :D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's slightly confusing... i think... I hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: BTR doesn't belong to me. **

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A pale, raven-haired man sat on the hospital bed, mumbling to himself. An insane grin split his face into half, stretching it obscenely. He's had his mind bent back and forth like a blade of grass, snapped around like a rubber band.

It'd be more than a miracle for his sanity to be still intact. He is cracked, broken. A recorder in his shattered brain keeps playing the tortured screams and terrified yells of his one and only love for him to hear every living moment of his life.

A giggle escapes his lips as he listens to the voices and screams in his head. They are his only companion. He cannot hear anyone, or anything but them.

It is sick, and twisted – how badly his mind is bent. The doctors can only imagine how it would feel to have the agonizing screams of your loved one resound in your skull, all the time.

Suddenly, the man lets out a heart-wrenching scream. It tears through the hearts of everyone and anyone who can hear. It is the scream of a crazed man resurfacing - if only for a moment - through the waters of insanity.

The scream of a man coming to reality and begging as a plea to end his suffering of the constant rewinding of that player in his head.

But less than a minute later, the darkness grasps him by the feet and plunges him back into the insane, insane land where shadows creep up on him, screams echo in his mind, and where everything is so frightfully funny.

* * *

A doctor in white sighs as he leans his head against the glass of the man's room. He cannot dream of trying to understand how this man is feeling and what he went through.

He is broken from his reverie by a nurse who taps his shoulder, smiling sympathetically, "You have to go see your other patient now."

He inclines his head ever so slightly and she knows she is dismissed. Walking briskly through the brightly lit halls of the hospital, he cracks open the door of the patient's room and he finds it in utter darkness.

He does not worry about the patient attacking him, or trying to escape. The light from the halls spill into the room, revealing a haggard young man, sitting on the bed, knees pulled to his chest.

The man's once glowing tanned skin, million dollar smile, and bright hazel eyes are now a pasty color, and the light has gone out of his eyes.

"James." The doctor calls to the man on the bed, and the man turns his head up, meeting the doctor's own brown eyes.

A part of the doctor breaks at that moment; because he cannot stand seeing his two remaining best friends waste away like that.

But he pulls himself together, and grips his clipboard.

* * *

The man in front of him is just as broken as the other.

Whatever bit left of his sanity after the incident, was gone. It was sucked away by his constant nightmares. Every night, when the man's eyes close, pictures flash across his eyes, uder his lids.

They come in black and white, sometimes with a splash of red here and there. Those nightmares wake him, leaving him screaming his love's name and with his face drenched in salty tears.

To make the nightmares go away, the horrible, horrible visions of what happened disappear, the man doesn't sleep.

He won't, and he can't.

Bags are dark under his eyes, frightening. His body can hardly function by itself. All he does is sit, with the machines hooked up on him, keeping him alive.

* * *

Both his patients are long gone. No one can help them, but still, he refuses to give up.

They live in their own little world, endlessly replaying that incident in their heads, unable to stop, be it in pictures or sounds.

The doctor shuts the door and at the last moment, he thinks he sees something in the man's dead, hazel eyes. It pleads for him to help him, it pleads for him to have mercy, to stop the pain.

The door clicks shut with such finality, that the doctor breaks down, sliding down the door, bursting into sobs.

Nurses know to leave him alone. They never go up to him and say, "It's okay." No one can. Because, it's not going to be okay.

* * *

When the doctor steps into his house, he runs through the newspaper clippings of that day obsessively, like it can help his patients – his best friends.

Words stand out stark against the paper.

**Kendall Knight, James Diamond and Logan Mitchell were kidnapped and went missing a year ago, leaving their remaining band member, family and friends devastated. But they were found in an abandoned house, with the kidnapper early last week.**

**Kendall's body was violated, parts of his body missing….**

The doctor sees red and slams the tabletop with his fist.

Violated?

That was putting it lightly. Kendall was raped repeatedly, nails were missing, pried off by metal bits, chunks of hair gone, face scratched beyond recognition, and a leg was _completely _gone.

Those didn't even begin to start to describe what happened to Kendall.

Worse, James and Logan, who'd both _loved_ Kendall, were made to listen and watch the painful screams of agony. They were made to torture Kendall themselves, all the while seeing the pleading in those emerald orbs.

* * *

But once, when he got James talking, just once, James had described to him what the look in those eyes were, before James drifted off, into dark oblivion again.

He had said, "Those eyes that I loved so much stared up at me, pleading for me to stop. The moment I looked into those eyes, both Logan and I knew, we couldn't harm a hair on his head."

"We bore the beating, the burns and the cuts from the man. But still, we refused to give in. The next morning, Kendall's eyes were… gone. Completely gone."

_"Just empty sockets."_

* * *

The doctor reaches out, and sees the face of his dead best friend staring back at him.

It is printed in full color, Kendall. His wide emerald orbs are sparkling with joy, sensuous lips curved into a wide grin, and lashes dark, casting shadows on his cheekbones.

A light blush is tinted on the small blonde's porcelain cheeks.

The doctor feels his sanity slipping from him, and he is tethering at the _edge of sanity. _

**But until he is thrown over that edge, he swears, he will do his best to help his two best friends.**

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**A/N: Well... how was it? Too draggy? Too long? I'm thinking of putting in another chapter, like a hundred words or so, to act as a closure, yeah? Review to let me know! And of course, the doctor is Carlos. I'll reveal that in the next chapter if there is a next chapter.I know its weird that Carlos is a doctor and all, but... eh... to make the story work, anything goes. :D Review, please! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, before you read the story, I would like to warn you that this chapter is extremely short and it's not very good. I had to rush this out because from now til like, first of January I will not be on . I'm moving house so I'm trying to pack up all my house stuffs. But I will update 'Angel' and also post up a christmas Kames fic when I'm back :D **

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Nurse Peggy, she was one of the closest persons to Carlos. She knew about his friends, and all that he was going through.

She had tried to convince him to get another job, or take other patients, but he had lashed out at her with such fury, she never brought it up again.

But she knew that he was close to his breaking point. The old nurse had seen it coming months before it happened.

She had seen how Carlos was spacing off sometimes, in the middle of the conversation. He would lose himself halfway, distracted by something else in his mind.

The day he was found giggling to himself in the middle of a wrecked hospital lounge, she wasn't surprised. She was the one to stick the needle in him, and push his limp body to the white room.

Another name joined the list of patients in the hospital. Her world-weary eyes had scanned over the shaking form of Carlos, bound up by a straits jacket, seated in a plain white chair the middle of the large white room.

If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that he was crying. But he wasn't. He was laughing at everything.

A glint shone in his eyes, a maniacal glint. It was the look of a killer. He was completely, raving mad.

And dare she say, worse than the other two boys?

A week later, James Diamond was dead. He simply hadn't had the will to live. When she had rushed into the room the moment the heart monitor sounded, the wasted young man grabbed her hand, hazel-eyes dilated, and he had said, "Tell Carlos… I'm sorry."

His voice had cracked with emotion, before she nodded slowly, and he had smiled a tiny, tiny smile, before slipping away, into sweet oblivion.

Nurse Peggy and two gravediggers were the only ones to bury James Diamond that day.

She had hobbled as fast as she could into Carlos' hospital room, and held his hand and murmured to him, "James is dead. He said sorry."

For a split second, she thought she saw the insane look in his overly bright eyes disappear, replaced by dim acceptance and sadness.

But it may have been the trick of the light, because not a moment later, it disappeared.

One went down, so two sad men were left in their big white rooms, waiting for the day they could see each other again, in a whole other universe.

Sometime later, a month or two, Nurse Peggy retired. She had seen too many young doctors lose themselves in the process of trying to save patients. One too many.

_She was quite very aware that they were all at the brink of sanity, ready to fall over._

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**A/N: Again, I apologize for the kind of horrible ending of the story. Sorry! Review if you will, please! Thank you! **


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